2018 Recap

Amber
May 16, 2020
4 min read

Good evening BOSLadies,

With the end of the year upon us, time for reflection is nigh. Our meetings and emails have been a consistent bright spot for me since we began so as a way of saying thank you (and to some – welcome!), I’ve compiled our main discussion topics and media from the year for everyone’s review. It’s quite long so I’m putting the info for next month right up top: our next meeting is on Tuesday, January 8th at 6pm at Mr. Dooley's on Broad Street. We will be discussing How Remarkable Women Lead to kick off 2019. Can’t wait to see you all there!!

July:

Notes from Mia Scharfe’s “The WingWoman Effect” (email me if you'd like to see them!)
Lean in Discussion guide from its publishing in 2013 vs. the 2018 NYT article 'Lean In': Five Years Later
A TED playlist on how to fight imposter syndrome (image from Medium)

August:

A discussion on "Up talking": ending each sentence with the intonation of a question. When a women uses self-deprecating language before asking a clarifying question or qualifies every statement dependent on the affirmation of others (as with up talking), it undermines other's ability to see her credibility or authority on the subject and changes the focus from the content to her person and the emotions she's projecting. When you speak with certainty, it allows your colleagues to focus on what you're saying and respond objectively. Confidence and humility are not mutually exclusive - Ditch the up talk!

Your two primers on the issues:

A fantastic 90s segment of Connie Chung explaining up speak - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z756L_CkakU
A piece from This American Life - https://www.thisamericanlife.org/545/if-you-dont-have-anything-nice-to-say-say-it-in-all-caps/act-two

Notes from meeting two (email me if you'd like to see them)
Two sides of the debate on emotional labor: Please Stop Calling Everything That Frustrates You Emotional Labor from Slate vs. How Emotional Labor Affects Women's Careers from Forbes

September:

Never Eat Alone ended up not being a compelling read for most of the club members. The most useful information we got out of this book was tips on networking, specifically how to break the ice and have successful small talk. Book notes attached
Some topics from our meeting that are worth mulling over: ways to initiate conversations at professional events with people that you’ve never met before, negative networking encounters that have occurred and how to deal with them in the future, go to topics for small talk and how to make a positive impression with them, favorite ice breakers
Girl UNinterrupted: The Boston Experiment - a 3-phase research project that “seeks to bridge the gap between young female designers (and designers in general) and leaders in the architecture field.” Mission, Results and Manual to change the status quo

October: BYOB at HMFH – an intellectual potluck. The following is Catherine’s summary of what was shared

On the table were a hot-off-the-press book "Old in Art School" (that was a big career about-face!), the "My Favorite Murder" podcast, a short story "The Quiet Man," a facebook post, another book "Fringe Hours" (on making/finding time for the things that you love), a podcast "After the Glass Escalator, the Glass Cliff", a future must-read for our crew: Women, Minorities and Other Extraordinary People, and conversations on the unique strengths and vulnerabilities of a boss lady launched into leadership of a sinking ship, and navigating the challenges of getting a word in edgewise as a formally-mannered (can I call it old-fashioned mannered?) woman in a casual-combative, non-hierarchical culture of speaking over each other.

November:

Our monthly read - The ONE Thing. Free with Amazon Prime
Advice from the panel discussion, "She-E-O," (as summarized by Catherine):

Don't take no for an answer. Ask questions. At the very least: "But, why?"
You are top priority. The quality of your work and relationships is directly connected to your health and wellness.
Always enjoy learning. The love of learning outlasts ambition every day.
Make time to meet individually with all your direct reports regularly (weekly or bi-weekly). If there is too little time, you have too many direct reports. Start with the question: What do you want to talk about today? If nothing, then okay, "I have a few things we can discuss." But never allow this to be pushed for busyness.
In your ambition and intention it's easy to miss the now: Don't forget to enjoy what you're doing at present.
There will always be things left undone, just don't let it be the most important things. (Holla! Does that sound familiar??)

An election with many historic firsts to be celebrated
A share from Maggie via Catherine from NPR’s This American Life podcast about gaslighting women: https://www.thisamericanlife.org/661/but-thats-what-happened

December:

In lieu of a typical book club meeting, we went the holiday party route and joined up with BWILD for the evening. Thank you again to them for the extended invitation!
Forbes list of Top 50 Women in Tech.

“Together, list members are inventors or co-inventors on more than a hundred patents, are authors of hundreds of research papers and are members of hundreds of boards and trade organizations. Six women on the list have launched nonprofits. Nearly all are active in efforts to support women in STEM. And three have pink hair.*

*Which we mention not as a comment on their appearance, but because it’s interesting and cool.”

-Helen A. S. Popkin, Forbes Staff