August 17, 2020

Greetings,

It's been awhile since I've sat down to write one of these letters. I was training at a new job, adjusting to a new living space and feeling the general stress from our current state of affairs, feeling totally depleted. I think that I felt shame for not being able to handle what was going on and it wasn't until I reached out to some of my dear friends and BOSLadies that I got some relief. They reminded me that even if you're going through a change that you want, it's still normal for the transition to be hard. They pointed out the reasons why of course I was tired! I needed the validation, I needed the help and knew who to go to when I finally stopped trying to be stronger than my needs. It hadn't occurred to me that maybe I was asking for help on something that someone really did want to help with or that asking for help creates an opportunity for someone to do something that they'll feel good about. An ask is an opportunity for both the asker and the addressee. Just ask. And thank you to Catherine and Alexandra for the letters you've written these past few weeks

The Weekly Three

1. Something from the August meeting: Last Tuesday was BYOB. Here's what we shared:

Brother by David Chariandy

Dare to Lead by Brene Brown

Feminist Fight Club by Jessica Bennett (free on Prime Reading)

The Address Book by Deirdre Mask

2. Something about entitlement: Ladies and gentlemen, our selection for the September meeting is Entitled. The quote below is from this review

What conclusions can we draw from the gendered dimensions of the current crisis? Kate Manne’s “Entitled: How Male Privilege Hurts Women” presents a paradigm that maps neatly onto life in lockdown. Manne, a professor of philosophy at Cornell, argues that women “are expected to give traditionally feminine goods”—including physical and emotional care—and “to refrain from taking traditionally masculine goods,” such as power and authority. These assumptions result in a society in which men “are tacitly deemed entitled” to much of what life has to offer, while women are perpetual debtors, their very humanity “owed to others.”

3. Something to watch: Did you watch Mrs. America? The series tells the story of the Equal Rights Amendment and key players on both sides including Gloria Steinem and Betty Friedan, among many others. It plays like an entertaining history lesson but soberly notes that many of the fights being portrayed, specifically reproductive and LGBTQ rights, are still front and center today.

Our next meeting will be on Tuesday, September 8th at 5:30pm PST/8:30 EST. Zoom and calendar invites to follow.

Until next time,

Amber