October 11, 2019 Meeting Notes

Happy Friday BOSLadies!

Thank you to Matt for hosting on Tuesday night and for generously providing food and wine I found our meeting particularly uplifting so thank you to everyone there.

Much of our discussion of Radical Candor was about the mutual openness between employee and employer that is required for success. You can’t have one person who is constantly hammering everyone else with their opinions and being candid if no one else is. That doesn’t create a productive environment. So how do you get those who are more quiet to have radical candor? Does radical candor have to be verbal?

One BOSLady suggested this: What about asking questions so that you can form opinions? It’s less radical and abrasive than constantly expressing opinions can be and is much more approachable.

It’s an interesting question to ask – if Radical Candor aims to achieve better relationships for a better workplace, how does it navigate those who don’t like to speak up? How do you make sure that they get a voice without making them uncomfortable? If you have ideas, please share and bring them to the next meeting.

When we talk about vulnerability in the workplace, the conversation eventually will touch on the boundary between personal and professional life. Do you have to talk about your life at home to be considered open? Or can you still keep your private life private? Another BOSLady noted that as counterintuitive as it sounds, bringing the personal to the professional actually helps you establish boundaries. If you say “hey, I have this really awesome show tonight that I’ve been looking forward to so I need to leave here right at 5”, you’re sharing a fact about your life outside of work (bringing personal to professional) but are using that to establish the clear end of your work day. After 5, you will be gone and out of work mode. Thoughts?

To keep this email somewhat brief, the last thing to share is on the comedic side: approachability and headphones. Headphones seem to be the universally recognized sign for “don’t bother me”. If you’re lost on the street (pretend your phone battery is dead) and you need to ask a stranger for directions, will you ask the person with AirPods in or the person without? Probably the person without headphones. The night after BOSLady, I was stopped in the grocery store by two young women who asked me to explain the two different prices on the store’s labels. I wasn’t wearing my headphones.

Have a gorgeous three day weekend and consider taking an air bath Ben Franklin style.